A Brief History of Lemons

Lulu Lemon was born Lulu Elizabeth Mosley in Harrow, North London to Oswald and Cynthia Mosley the founders of the British Union of Fascists.

Because of her prominent masculine features and facial hair she was initially educated as a boy, at West Downs in Winchester, Winchester College and then the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst. During her time at Sandhurst she was introduced to Baron Graf Manfred Himmel von Lemon, the son of a famously eccentric Prussian aristocrat. Thus began a two year clandestine relationship, culminating in their marriage two weeks after the passing out ceremony. Upon their union Lulu changed her name to 'Lulu Stavro von Lemon the third' and the new couple moved into the fortified family bunker on the Rhine.

At the outbreak of war her loyalties were divided, should she return to the UK and do her family duty [as a Nazi agitator] or remain in Germany. She eventually joined MCFTPOMHATGOP, the Munich committee for the preservation of moral hygiene. Eventually she rose to the rank of 'Uber-sturmgruppen-furher' and was responsible for the entire city's stocks of Zyklon B.

Though she had never seen combat duty, her husband's connections put her in a dangerous position and after the war she was forced to escape to Cuba. By 1963 Lulu had acquired enough money from a small time hustling operation to open the first Lululemon store in Havana. It consisted of a small sweat shop producing cheap imitations of western sporting goods which were not available due to various trade embargoes. Havana had long been known as the sex capital of the North Caribbean, Fidel Castro being one of the first men to have silicone breast implants. So it was a logical step for the company to start selling a range of bondage equipment. In fact their now iconic logo was originally designed to symbolise a butt plug.

Lulu had always considered herself a visionary and her main vision had always been one of her being extremely rich. To this end she hired Bub Smears, a former executive at American sportswear brand Felch. Smears advised her to sell most of the company 'to some rich middle eastern bastards' allowing it's expansion into the United States.

And as we can see, Lululemon today has moved a long way from it's humble Nazi Sweatshop origins, but with Smears in their pants division, Lulu insists that they will always remain true to the original ideals.